General Ripper to Group Captain Mandrake: “Today, war is too important to be left to politicians. They have neither the time, the training, or the inclination for strategic thought. I can no longer sit back and allow communist infiltration, communist indoctrination, communist subversion, and the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.”
General Turgidson suggests a first strike policy to the President: “I’m not saying we wouldn’t get our hair mussed, but I do say no more than 10 to 20 million killed, tops.”
The President: “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the War Room!”
The President to Soviet Premier Kissov: “One of our base commanders, he had a sort of…well, he went a little funny in the head – you know, just a little funny, and er, he went and did a silly thing.”
Mandrake asks Colonel Bat Guano to shoot the vending machine in order to get change for the phone, and the Colonel is scandalised: “Okay. I’m going to get your money for you. But if you don’t get the President of the United States on that phone, you know what’s going to happen to you?…You’re going to have to answer to the Coca-Cola Company.”
“Mein Führer! I can walk!!”
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