How to Lose Interest in 15 minutes

September 18, 2020 | Posted by Peter Jakobsen | Comedy Film, FILM, THUMBNAIL REVIEWS |

He's just not that into her

“How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” (Directed by Donald Petrie) (2003) At a cottage in the Barossa Valley, The Varnished Culture found 4 Rom-Coms to watch, and chose this one, largely based on the likeability of the two leads (and Kate was in a decent film about magazine writers once). We liked them less after 15 minutes: they’re too old for these shenanigans, and too old to, seriously, strike job-on-the-line wagers to win, woo / spurn a partner in record time. She has to start a romance and dump him; he has to win her.  She conducts herself…

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Safe

August 31, 2020 | Posted by Lesley Jakobsen | FILM, THEATRE, THUMBNAIL REVIEWS |

(Written and directed by Federico Maria Giansanti of FMG, an Italian independent theatrical producer) (2020) (A one-woman performance, filmed play, link below) At an indeterminate time, in an isolated mountain hospice a young nun (Valeria Wandja) is alone, taking care of two people.  The other characters, – a man Paul (“a pure soul” who “takes a bit longer sometimes”) and a bedridden, terminally ill patient, Mrs Parker – are neither seen nor heard.  We know them through the nun’s responses to them.  The three are the final survivors of a larger community.  The nun (“Sister Daisy”, although her name is…

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“Wish We’d Said That”: Our Film Quote Quiz

August 30, 2020 | Posted by Lesley Jakobsen | FILM |

"It was Beauty killed the Beast."

41 deathless lines are below. See how well you can identify them (answers further below). QUOTES “You despise me, don’t you?” “If I gave you any thought, I probably would.” “You talkin’ to me?” “…I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take this any more!” “Sometimes nothin’ is a real cool hand.” “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” “I love the smell of napalm in the morning.” “Everything begins, and ends, at exactly the right time and place.” “My father taught me many things here…taught me in this room. He taught me: keep your friends close,…

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Knives Out

August 30, 2020 | Posted by Peter Jakobsen | FILM, THUMBNAIL REVIEWS |

Benoit Blanc presents his conclusion (Unfortunately, much of the film was like this)

(Directed by Rian Johnson) (2019) (Foxtel) Paterfamilias Christopher Plummer (in a customary sleek, silky, telephoned-in performance) has gathered the family, hinting at some amendments to his testamentary dispositions (shades, but only shades, of Agatha Christie’s After the Funeral and Hercule Poirot’s Christmas). When he turns-up dead in his cramped but sumptuous study, throat cut, suicide appears likely, at least to the police in charge of the case.  But wait! What’s James Bond doing in the background, tinkling at the piano?  It’s private sleuth Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig, joining the Honour Board of British actors undone by attempting a southern drawl in…

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The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser

July 21, 2020 | Posted by Peter Jakobsen | Drama Film, FILM, THUMBNAIL REVIEWS |

(Directed by Werner Herzog) (1974) [He did exist: and his back story, true identity, and untimely end remain a mystery. Various suppositions and theories have all been unmasked as absurd.  Be that as it may, the myths around Kaspar offer a useful trope for film-makers. And in the case of Werner Herzog, it inspired his best film (along with Fitzcarraldo). The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser features all of his most infuriating flourishes, yet it manages to move and fascinate. Its a kind of Pygmalion-meets-The Wild Child-and-Bad Boy Bubby, with a dash of Ruprecht-the-Monkey-Boy from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.] It opens with Kaspar,…

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