Category Archive: FILM
Dior & I
'I could merde a champers...' (still from the official film site)
(Dir. Frédéric Tcheng) (2014) Disclaimer: P neither knows nor cares much about the industry of haute couture but this engaging documentary was an against-the-odds, enjoyable take on a fashion scenario so familiar it is almost a cliché: new designer and effete assistant arrive to head up the major collection of an iconic Euro fashion house with no time to spare. Much eye-rolling, hand-wringing, and undoing beading late into the night, the heroic Parisian seamstresses pulling an all nighter (from their love of the work and helped by some early morning champagne). A last moment decision by designer Raf Simons that he did…
Continue Reading →Lawrence of Arabia
"The trick is not MINDING that it hurts."
(Dir. David Lean) (1962) Despite Lesley having almost invariably impeccable taste, we strongly disagree with her charge that this is the Worst Movie of all Time. Dare we suggest L was prejudiced by the abundance of sand, the monolithic presence of her beloved Peter O’Toole, and the undeniable fact this is a ‘blokes’ picture’? Long (few films these days have an overture, an intermission, an entr’acte) but not overlong (compare and contrast The Hobbit), this is film history on an heroic scale, focusing on T(homas). E(dward). Lawrence’s fostering of the revolt in the desert by numerous squabbling Bedouin tribes, against the…
Continue Reading →The Worst Movie of All Time
L takes no prisoners
Peter’s admirable list of anaesthetic films is frightening, truly scarey. To think that I have sat through all that rubbish. However, it lacks one thing – mention of the worst film of all time. That most tendentious, over-rated, over-blown, self-adoring snore-inducing piece of celluloid-poo of all time, starring the worst actor of all time. Yes, that’s it. Of course I mean LAWRENCE OF ARABIA. You know that scene in Donnie Darko in the cinema? You thought that Donnie, Gretchen and Frank were watching The Evil Dead with some distorted clock faces and stuff? Wrong. Obviously they are watching Lawrence of Arabia. Consider. One of them has…
Continue Reading →Anaesthesia
Image by Francis Dodd
TVC nominates the following pretentious and overblown Celluloid soporifics as the most narcoleptic films of all time: Absolutely Anything (2015) You’d have to go a long way to find a comedy without a single laugh but here we are! A Bridge Too Far (1977) The Arnhem campaign in Holland is re-staged as the 80 Years’ War. The ridiculous length serves to allow the countless star cameos, all of which add up to a big fat zero. Brooklyn (2015) Jesus, Mary and Joseph! What Eejit finagled this? Two hours of ennui, to be sure, to be sure!! Dances With Wolves (1990) Quick, Tom!! Shoot that…
Continue Reading →Incitement
Caesar stabbed in the forum & elsewhere, painted by Vincenzo Camuccini (@ Moderna)
Julius Caesar (1601) (Dir. Joseph L. Mankiewicz, 1953) A good film of a great play, scribbled when Shakespeare was limbering up and entering his white hot phase. The story is mainly of Brutus, nicely and very glumly played by James Mason as the ‘reluctant’ conspirator. All of the key players are good, although one might say Louis Calhern plays Caesar much like he was as the big spy boss in Notorious (that playing strangely fits the minor but key part in the play but is much too vigorous for a 66 year old prone to fainting spells). Suetonius called Caesar “deified” and suggested that…
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