Parody # 9: The Raving

(with apologies to Edgar Allan Poe)

 

Once upon a morning early, while I tweeted, smug and surly,

Over many a terse, ridiculous thread certain to bore,

While I CAPS-LOCKED, mouth akimbo

Suddenly, amid my limbo

Of a spat with an on-line bimbo, a weary conversational chore

There appeared a meme, a sign insistent,

Daring me to sign ‘Deplore’ –

‘Tis some silly meme’ I muttered,

‘Only this and nothing more.’

 

Ah, distinctly I recall, it was not the antipodean fall

That threw its shadows on my wall and

       blew away my online post,

Rather, it was a tweet

That garnered San Francisco’s heat

And exposed me as easy meat

For their troll-warriors to ghost.

 

So I clicked upon the link

And before I could even blink,

      In there stepped the President

      Of the United States –

He did not speak, he did not snore

But sat upon my study floor

And no sound came from his craw – 

He perched, and sat, and nothing more.

 

This venerable loon beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,

By the blank, empty decorum of the countenance he wore,

‘Though thy hair be dead and fake’ I said

‘You can’t be on the make – 

‘Ghastly, dumb and ancient rake

     from liberal Baltimore – 

‘Tell me the words of independence

That the Founding Fathers all declare and sing’:

Quoth the Pres., ‘You know – the Thing.’