(Apologies to Loudon Wainwright III)
Suddenly it’s Christmas, depending on your view,
A time for winding-up and thereby going on the brew;
In the north, they’re dressing warm and feeling rather nippy,
Celebrating an illegitimate Jewish povo chippy.
It is a time for contemplating meats of every kind,
Chewing on God’s creatures, drinking oneself blind;
‘Tis the season, wear a mask and get that shot into your arm,
Else men might come and haul you off to some dread animal farm.