Parody # 4: The Blogger’s Children

February 2, 2021 | Posted by Peter Jakobsen | Poetry, WRITING & LITERATURE |

(With apologies to Rudyard Kipling) I keep six slavish acronyms By whom I set much store, Their names are WTF and LOL, IMHO and more, And FOMO and TBH and also BRB, My serfs I like and I keep them, but also set them free. I send them over the world wide web I send them high and low But after they have done their work I’m told just where to go.

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Parody # 3: “The Prince and The Influencer”

February 2, 2021 | Posted by Peter Jakobsen | Poetry, WRITING & LITERATURE |

(with apologies to Edward Lear and “The Owl and the Pussycat”) A Royal wranger went over the sea On a beautiful private jet, With a B-grade actress, and some cash And a Netflix contract to get. The Prince looked out over L.A. below And sang to his i-pod stream: ‘Will you be my mummy as we go, Can I join your millennial team?”   So they took their bows and renewed their vows With the turkey who has her own show, They had a beach pad and kale they had Which they ate with a runcible spoon: With their hands…

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Parody # 1: “Un vieil imbécile sans pitié”

MANCHESTER NH. - OCTOBER 9: Ex Vice Pres. Joe Biden makes the sign of the cross after speaking about Giuliani speaks to supporters at an event at McIntyre Ski resort on October 9, 2019 in Manchester, NH. (Staff Photo By Stuart Cahill/MediaNews Group/Boston Herald)

With apologies and thanks to Charles Dodgson, The Varnished Culture offers some poetical parodies (based on great poems) to synthesize our thoughts on the preceding and forthcoming years… “Un vieil imbécile sans pitié“ (Inspired by “La Belle Dame sans Merci” by John Keats)   O, what can ail thee, Joe Biden, Alone and palely loitering? The right has pulled-back from D.C.  And no tweets sting.   I see creases on thy brow, With anguish moist and fever dew, And in the gardens fades the rose: Fast withereth too.   You met a lady on the Hill Full socialist, and Woke,…

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Cat’s Cradle

By Kurt Vonnegut (1963) Something of a succès d’estime in reverse, this book won admiration for its bleak humour, deadpan reportage and sci-fi elements, until the rot set in and everyone realised that it wasn’t hugely good, with its glib, jerky, episodic micro-chapters, cardboard characters and terrible snatches of verse. Vonnegut was not yet really a novelist; Cat’s Cradle is not really a novel. But here Kurt is an accumulator of ‘bits,’ an amasser of literary bitcoin, and some of his stock is quite brilliant.  His false religion, Bokononism, owes something to Spinoza, but with typical jokey authorial touches –…

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Love You Long Time: The Earl of Louisiana

“The Earl of Louisiana” by A. J. Liebling (1961) Liebling’s witty and nostalgic book shows us something of the old time politics and how it seems fresher and more vibrant than the sterile and shrill shenanigans of today. True, he had to travel to Louisiana (where the citizenry don’t expect corruption, they demand it) and he had a ringside seat to the Long legacy (the famous ‘Kingfish,’ Huey Long, Governor from 1928 to 1932 and a U.S. Senator until his death by gunfire in 1935, had been followed by younger brother Earl, Governor from 1939 to 1940, 1948 to 1952,…

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