A Plague o’ Both Your Houses!

May 29, 2018 | Posted by Peter Jakobsen | HISTORY, POLITICS, RELIGION | 0 Comments |

We are sped, and sick of you both: so bent out of shape with hate and ancient enmities…


We know the Jews can claim to be the first in Zion, a 3000 year-old legacy, and that whilst it was under Muslim rule since the 7th century, such others are more or less interlopers (Jerusalem gets 700 odd mentions in the Old Testament, none in the Qur’an), although for centuries the Holy Lands have been recognised as multi-faith. (There’s no particular reason to criticise President Trump’s incendiary move to locate the US Embassy in Jerusalem – being nice, polite and diplomatic doesn’t sizzle any falafels, in Middle East politics.)

So we get it already! You Jews have a claim to belong there – the UN resolution of 1948 proclaimed the State of Israel, and so it came to pass. The country is smaller than Tasmania and beset on all sides from people who loudly, shrilly, declare that it must be wiped off the map. So the war machine that you’ve built and the alliances you’ve formed, are entirely understandable, in the shadow of such existential threats. And that is surely the key to the problem: guns alone won’t bring you peace, you need to speak softly and not constantly brandish the big stick. Also, shooting your leaders when they hold up an olive branch (vide: Yitzhak Rabin) makes you look like the guys who, to paraphrase Douglas Adams, nailed a man to a tree for saying “Hey! Why don’t we be nice to each other for a change?”

It is neither wise nor right to fire real bullets at boys throwing stones. Sure, you may drop leaflets to warn protesters to keep away from the Gaza boundary fence, but protesters will protest. And couldn’t you use rubber bullets?  I wouldn’t want to be hit with a rock, but still. I mean, 60 dead and thousands wounded vs 1 professional Israeli soldier with a flesh wound?  And whilst this land is your land, and not so much land at that, do you really have to build those settlements, which are so inflammatory and arrogant?  Is it because you don’t just want political legitimacy, but love as well? Well, love is earned, so, in the meantime, suck it up, princess!


You people are in a real fix. Let’s recall why:

Two generations of Arabs have been raised on the conviction that the State of Israel is an illegitimate usurper of Muslim patrimony. In 1947, the Arab countries rejected a UN plan for a partition of the British mandate in Palestine into separate Arab and Jewish states; they believed themselves in a position to triumph militarily and claim the entire territory. Failure of the attempt to extinguish the newly declared State of Israel did not lead to a political settlement and the opening of state-to-state relations, as happened in most other postcolonial conflicts in Asia and Africa. Instead, it ushered in a protracted period of political rejection and reluctant armistice agreement against the background of radical groups seeking to force Israel into submission through terrorist campaigns.”*

Your “Palestine,” left by the Brits, is in very poor shape. Gaza is an imprisoned, embargoed patch with Israel to the east and Egypt to the south. There is an administering authority, but it is an hysterical, shrieking poodle, to Syria, Iran and parts of the former Soviet Union, too busy making speeches denying the Holocaust to look after its people.

For a two-state solution to work, the Palestinians need to act like an embryo state, rather than a terrorist enclave. You might consider not allowing yourselves to be human shields and fodder for those who deny the right of the other state to exist; to get rid of the folks who threaten to assassinate any leader that even thinks of a deal. In other words, you should first get rid of your worst enemy – Hamas, and stop vowing to kill all the Jews. And the same goes for your so-called Arab brothers, busy tearing each other apart – they don’t give a s**t about you. If you don’t want love, but respect unearned, and the freedom to hate the Jews from-up close, keep dreaming, you idiots.

[* Kissinger, World Order (2014) p. 130.]


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