10 (or more) Songs We Hate

January 20, 2016 | Posted by Lesley Jakobsen | Modern Music | 3 Comments |

1 Always Take the Weather With You (Crowded House) – [dreary and nasty, almost hostile.]

2. Why Does it Always Rain on Me? (Travis) – [Why don’t you stop whining and buy a brolley?]

3  Born to be Alive (Patrick Hernandez – there is dispute in the TVC house about this one) [Ecch!]

4. Wonderful Christmastime (Paul McCartney) [Worst Xmas song ever.]

5. Happy (Pharrell Williams – there is a dispute here too) [L – unhappy]

6. All That She Wants (Ace of Base) [“she’s gone tomorrow” – why not today?]

7. I Will Always Love You (Whitney Houston version) [a tune to hum as you jump off a building.]

8. I’ve Never Been to Me (Charlene) [Just try and listen.]

9. My Friend the Wind (Demis Roussos) [as Clive James commented, this is sung in a yin-tong tremolo that will strip paint.]

10. Agadoo (Black Lace) [Perennial worst-song list favourite – for oompah-pah drunks in pubs only.]

11, Having My Baby (Paul Anka) [You can imagine Ivan Milat singing this…]

12. You’ll be a Woman Soon (Neil Diamond / Urge Overkill) (P disagrees) [You can imagine Ivan Milat singing this too…]

13. Come Said the Boy (Mondo Rock) [Puerile and sticky, like puberty.]

14. True Blue (John Wiliamson) [“Is it a cockatoo?”  You either love or hate this. We do not love it.]

15. Free as a Bird (The Beatles) [Like a Beatles’ 45 played at 33.]

16. The Lion Sleeps Tonight (The Tokens; various covers) [we agonised over this one.  Not because it is not horrendous, because it is: rather, we wondered if it is actually a novelty song (which is why My Boomerang Won’t Come Back is not on the list.) We concluded that it isn’t, so, thanks to our correspondent Steve, it goes on the naughty list.]

17. January (Pilot) [It might have been alright once, but after a year on the airwaves in the mid-1970s, it became torture.]

18. Any ‘Tumblr Folk’ songs.  “Tumblr Folk” is a musical genre wittily labelled by Mark Garza on his blog, “Funeral Sounds.”  In his words, “It consists of sad teens/twentysomethings with acoustic guitars holed up in their rooms writing slow, underproduced songs about their friends, significant others, and lack thereof.”

19. Where Do You Go To (My Lovely)? (Peter Sarstedt) [‘Such a laugh, a ha-ha-ha…’ – We quote John Peel: “It’s a terrible, smug, self-satisfied, hideous record. Really have hated it ever since I first heard it.”]



  1. Reply

    Steve Hill

    January 23, 2016

    I would like to add a few of my own.
    1. The Lion Sleeps Tonight. (By any artist), which i might add do a great disservice to the word artist by performing this trash.
    2. Come Said the Boy ( Mondo Rock)
    3. True Blue ....well actually anything by John Williamson.
    4. Free as a Bird (The Beatles)

  2. Reply

    Steve Hill

    January 24, 2016

    I facetiously chose The Lion Sleeps Tonight because its content is inaccurate. Lions live in the savannah not the jungle as the song suggests. Education even in music must be accurate.

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