Us Too

January 10, 2018 | Posted by Peter Jakobsen | Ulalume | 2 Comments |

With Mr Weinstein rusticated from the Miramax Board, Mr Spacey airbrushed from film history, a TV gardener likely to lose all of his residuals, the Golden Globes emasculated (eunuchized, as it were), Oscar winner Geoffrey Rush stepping down as President of Australian Academy of Cinema and Television Arts for alleged ‘inappropriate behaviour’ during the performance of King Lear, and accused harasser Craig McLachlan standing down from the run of Rocky Horror Picture Show and his TV series The Doctor Blake Mysteries being cancelled, it seems that the alleged victims of alleged inappropriate behaviour are empowered at last.

The various inappropriate behaviours are yet to be established and in many cases have been flatly denied, but we must respect the presumption of guilt, no?

In any case, it is time for The Varnished Culture to stand up and go on the record after all these years of living in fear and shame.

David Jason is a well respected and much loved English actor, with credits such as Only Fools and Horses, The Darling Buds of May, and A Touch of Frost. Wikipedia records that he is “one of the best loved actors in British popular culture, in September 2006 Jason topped the poll to find TV’s 50 Greatest Stars, as part of ITV’s 50th anniversary celebrations. He was knighted in 2005 for services to drama. Jason has won four British Academy Television Awards (BAFTAs), (1988, 1991, 1997, 2003), four British Comedy Awards (1990, 1992, 1997, 2001) and six National Television Awards (1997, 2001, 2002 twice).”

But we can’t stand him.  And we regard Open All Hours, which inexplicably ran for 10 years and 4 series, as the second worst television show of all time, a nasty and humourless homage to the nation of shopkeepers.

The worst TV show of all time?  Still Open All Hours, in which Jason, as Granville, has assumed the stewardship of the corner shop and, effectively, the Arkwright character played by Ronnie Barker in the original.  They’re still making this blancmange, ye Gods!

But the current imbroglio catching up with showmen the world over presents us with a heaven-sent opportunity to remove Open All Hours and Still Open All Hours from our screens for keeps.

So here goes: In the early 1980s, TVC was in charge of continuity for the production of the animated series, Danger Mouse.  David Jason was the voice of Danger Mouse.  During the production for Thames Television, Jason repeatedly engaged in ‘inappropriate behaviour’ that shocked and appalled the entire cast and crew.  His treatment of Penfold was unconscionable. No more need be said.  And I’m sure Mr Jason or his representatives will issue furious denials (after all, the allegations we have just stated are a complete fantasy).

But that ought to do it, don’t you think?  Can we now remove Still Open All Hours from broadcast permanently and delete the whole stock of Open All Hours tapes?


“Sorry David…We’re telling lies about you for our own good.”








  1. Reply

    Ritchie Ho

    January 17, 2018

    I'd like to kill off Inspector Frost as well

  2. Reply

    Michael Dart

    February 2, 2018

    All those jokes about Nurse Gladys Emmanual, or whatever she was called, and Ronnie Barker’s stutter, and David Jason living in a little back room, ughhh, I agree.

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