Category Archive: LIFE
Three Quarters Shall Weary Them
Lest we forget...to show up on time
Glenelg v South Adelaide at Hickinbotham Oval, Saturday afternoon, 22 April 2017 Glenelg spent 3 quarters letting this pre-Anzac Day game get just beyond them, like a suicidal chopper-skipper who flies out to sea using slightly over half of the fuel before turning back. Someone for South called Overall was over all like a rash, with 5 goals. The untimely return of Joel Cross for the Panthers was similarly unwelcome. Down an embarrassing 12 goals to 5 at the last change, the Tigers then kicked 6 goals to 0 in the fourth quarter, falling short by under a goal. Liam McBean having been well-held, James…
Continue Reading →5 Things that Ordinary People say on the TV News
Something has happened in your street. The reporter has the microphone in your face. You know what to say when – A pit full of human bones has been uncovered in your neighbour’s basement – “He was friendly and kept to himself”, A car has ploughed into your front room. No-one has been hurt – “There were children playing just here, only three weeks ago”. A meth-lab has blown up, a service station has been robbed, or – well, anything – “First I heard a loud bang”, There’s been a collision – “First I heard a loud bang. We’ve been telling them…
Continue Reading →The Long Good Friday
"I smell blood..."
Glenelg vs Sturt (14 April 2017 @ the G) Even though P’s subscription lapsed many years ago, we maintain a sense of disquiet about football on Good Friday, and a most memorial Good Friday to boot. But The Varnished Culture was assuaged by a beautiful afternoon and the sight of our bizarre Tiger mascot greeting patrons, along with another poorly defined character, the Easter Bunny. (We have to mention that Norwood, albeit a great Club and Team, has the funniest club mascots by far: the old one looks like Milo Kerrigan – the new one looks like Powdered Toast Man.) All was…
Continue Reading →Vale John Clarke
The Varnished Culture is suspicious of most New Zealand products, but John Clarke (29 July 1948 to 9 April 2017) was very much an exception. We passed Higson Lane in Melbourne only a few days ago and thought of him, photographed with perennial off-sider Brian Dawe in front of the neon Go-Go sign (see main image). He originally came to prominence as Fred Dagg, who gave a rambling discourse about some arcane matter before leaping on a bus to god knew where. He combined a keen sense of human idiocy with hard-won, in-depth knowledge that he originally acquired on coming to Australia by…
Continue Reading →Burning Bright
Round One vs Port @ The G (7 April, 2017) Indian Summer: a warm afternoon and night, just the time to have a shot at the Olde Enemy. Your correspondent was feeling as fragile as the Sparkes stand, now touted as a crumbling ruin and monument to feelings of dilapidation at the Club. What would Henry Yorke Sparkes have made of the decision to craft a mound out of the historic grandstand? Evidently the Council, in an excess of zeal, has now also banned members from the back stairs of the Rix Stand, on health and safety grounds (we can’t recall any…
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